Rikki Stevens

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rikki@rikkistevens.com

It had been a long time since my last holiday, at least six months.

Performing seven nights a week had taken its toll and I was ready for a break as my brain was starting to melt. One problem - where does a person who lives in a place like Benidorm go for a break when everything you need for a holiday is already right on your doorstep; sun, sea, sand, cheap drink, cheap fags, free entertainment? Benidorm has it all.

My wife Mags came up with the answer - Las Vegas.

After many hours of searching the Internet we came up with the deal of a lifetime, two weeks in a five star hotel in Vegas - The Luxor for less than a thousand pounds including flights. We flew from Alicante to Manchester and then straight from Manchester to Las Vegas.

The flight was ten hours and you can imagine how hard that was for me, being a smoker most of my life. In fact my mother told me that when I was born the first words I ever said were '... have you got a light?'. It was very difficult for me and I did not see much of the flight as I had a nicotine patch over each eye and one over my mouth.

Thirty patches later, we were there - Las Vegas the gambling and entertainment Mecca of the world and where nobody turns an eye at the mention of Super Stars like Celine Dion, Elton John and Tom Jones - to the tourists and locals alike they're just another show to go to when you're not losing your money gambling. Although we were processed quickly by Customs, they were not over friendly and I was a bit surprised that nobody said to us that famous phrase that Yanks are well known for.

We were met outside the airport terminal by two dear friends, Elaine and Mike who we know from Benidorm. This couple have been regular Las Vegas visitors for over fifteen years and spend at least four months a year here and the rest in Benidorm. We had no sooner said hello and arranged to meet later that night when we found ourselves being herded on to the tour bus and heading to the Luxor.

Wow, what a sight, a giant sphinx at least half the size of a football (soccer) pitch. This was the entrance to our hotel and the realization that nearly every Hotel in Vegas had a theme to it. Ours was Egypt and the interior was fabulously decorated with everything that had anything to do with the history of that exotic country. The main body of the hotel was a pyramid which had two towers on either side, North and South. We were swiftly checked in by the really friendly staff and yes, at last there it was - '… have a nice day'. Unknown to us, this phrase was to drive us mad over the next two weeks - even if a dog pees up your leg in America it says 'have a nice day' after it's finished with you.

Despite the late hour, we didn't go to bed as we were advised not to as this would throw our timing out with the eight hour time difference. We got changed into shorts and tee shirts (not the same ones) and found ourselves walking down the famous Las Vegas Strip and boy was it hot - it was like being hit in the face with a hair dryer. We noticed that most of the Strip had jets of mist shooting out from the buildings, aided by giant fans and this helped a bit (and I thought Spain was warm).

We met Elaine and Mike that night and had a quiet drink with them and started to plan our entertainment for the holiday. Las Vegas is a coupon town which means nearly every hotel, show and restaurant has two for one offers; half price deals, free drinks etc. We found ourselves collecting these coupons from the many magazines and street reps (props as we know them in Spain) and soon had enough to last us all year.

The first coupon we used was a two for one ticket to see a guy called Clint Holmes at Harrah's Casino. This entertainer blew me away with his brilliant voice, stage presence, dancing ability - just a great all rounder. His eight piece band was perfect and the choreography first class. The show was great and was to be the first of many shows that we would see in our two weeks.
Clint Holmes' WWW site

Seeing Clint wasn't cheap. It worked out at sixty dollars (about thirty eight pounds) for the two of us and drinks inside the theatre were expensive - roughly eight dollars each (just over four pounds fifty), but this made me realize just how fortunate the British are when we are in Spain. In Benidorm, you can see four acts for free and pay just four euros fifty (three pounds fifteen pence) for a Bacardi and coke that has four to five times the amount of Bacardi we would get in the UK. And we still moan! But it's true, we moan about everything, in a town where a full English breakfast can be had for as little as two pounds, where fags are one pound fifty a packet, a Happy Hour pint of lager works out at one pound fifty, cheap flights, cheap hotels, a full three course Chinese meal can be as little as six pounds each, what more do we want (stop it Rikki, your getting stressed out now).

Gambling has never really been my cup of tea, but when you are in a city that lives for it there is no harm in having a light flutter now and again - and we did.

My wife Mags enjoyed a little success on the one arm bandits and I think she may have broke even over the two weeks (won't know till I check my credit card). I found it hard not to have a go as every square inch of the casinos has something to gamble on; there are card machines inset on every bar, thousands of bandits, card tables, giant screens with horse racing and a game called keno which is like bingo but with no caller. In fact the only escape from gambling is when you go to the toilet and even in there they bet on who can pee the furthest. One good thing about gambling in Las Vegas is that you get free drinks as you do so and I have to say we took full advantage of this. However, there is more to Las Vegas than just gambling; it has a fabulous history which we learnt about on an American TV channel which told of Vegas' turbulent first one hundred years - you need to know this information if you want to try and understand how this city ticks.

We tried to visit a different hotel every day and I was gob smacked on more than one occasion by the imagination of the architects and designers of these perfectly put together pleasure palaces. In two weeks Mags and I visited Egypt, Paris, the Italian Lakes, Rome, Venice, New York, Africa and even Medieval England; where on earth are we going to go on holiday next year as we have been round the world here in 14 days and nights. We can't even to go to Outer Space, as Vegas took us there as well.

We took in a show nearly every night which included the following acts which I would like to say a little bit about:

• Boyz II Men - one of my favorite boy bands ever and still going strong after fifteen years. We saw them on a man-made beach at the Mandalay Bay hotel and it was a great night.
  
  
• The Blue Man Group - these are three guys who paint themselves bright blue and use plumbers' pipes as drums. To be honest this show at the Luxor went right over our heads and had me asking Mags what planet have we landed on as I did not get half their humor Their idea of fun was a sketch where they were eating corn flakes and trying to keep a beat at the same time. All through the show the audience were asked to wear strips of toilet paper round their heads and the reason for this was to become apparent as the end of the show when the entire audience were covered in reams of white paper (WHY?). To be fair, the lads were very talented drummers, but in my opinion over hyped and based on ticket price, over paid.
  
  
• Tom Jones - this was Mags' night and it had her running round all day like an excited kid who had just been told that Santa does still exist. Everything was perfect, dress, hair, makeup, practising her 'I'm here Tom' wave - she was brilliant to watch. Tom Jones delivered an energetic performance at the MGM Grand with the voice that made him an icon. Of course he has moved with the times and performed many different styles of music and was good at all of them. However, I think Tom may need laser eye surgery as he was looking straight at Mags and didn't wave, much to her dismay. In all a great night was had by us both.
  
  
• Ronn Lucas - this guy is being hailed as the world's best ventriloquist and rightly so as he could make a coca-cola can talk. He is also a superb comedian and his show at the Rio amused me greatly with his many puppets and smooth performance - ten out of ten for him and his friends including Scorch the Dragon. Little Fred would love to see this comedy act.
  Ronn Lucas' WWW site
  
  
• The Folies Bergere - this show at the Tropicana was our next port of call and had us 'oohing and aahing' at the fabulous costumes and production of this old style Las Vegas Show which took us through the fifties, sixties, and seventies and up to the present day. A multitude of talented people were on stage at the same time; singers, dancers and a great comedy act from Mexico - oh and the dancers were topless (sorry Mags). Splash, another production show at the Riviera Hotel was equally good and had an ice rink on stage. It finished with four guys on motor bikes doing the wall of death thing inside a huge metal ball which was a brilliant end to a great show - oh and the dancers were topless here as well, (sorry again Mags).
  
  
• Wayne Newton (Mr Las Vegas) - what can I say about a guy who has been performing in Vegas since the age of fifteen, worked in front of two Presidents, been voted best act in Vegas more times than I've changed my shirt and has had every accolade known to man. I say, give it up Wayne and retire, you have done your bit and it's now time to say goodbye and stop milking your American fans for their last dollar. Wayne opened the show with the well known Elvis song 'Viva Las Vegas' and to me sadly sounded like Kermit the frog on drugs. I could not make out a single word he was singing. He padded his way through the performance, introducing the band, talking about old times and I think he only did about five complete songs in the whole show. I was saddened by this and felt sorry for him. The bit that really riled me was that he got a standing ovation at the end of his show - he had to as he finished with the national anthem; good trick Wayne but it didn't fool me. I spent ninety dollars that my wife could have been throwing into a bandit somewhere on the Strip.

Countless lounge acts filled in the rest of our holiday entertainment and they were all really professional and well dressed and knew exactly how to put on a show. I love cabaret.

We rounded of our hols with a ride on a riverboat down Lake Mead to the Hoover Dam. The sheer size of this project had my jaw dropping and thinking that humans sometimes do the right thing about helping nature.

Two weeks had flown by and it was now time to head back home to Benidorm and for me to get back to work in Benidorm and Mags back to her little dog (Chica) who she missed a lot whilst away from home.

Our gratitude and many thanks go to our friends Elaine and Mike, without whose help and hospitality we would not have seen half the things that we did. We look forward to seeing them when they return to Benidorm.

Goodbye Las Vegas and as a well known American actor and Governor would say 'I'll be back'.

Rikki Stevens

August 2005

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